Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
