I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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