i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
