No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
