Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
