It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
where are you?
Hypothermia
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
