He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
