So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
