no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
