yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
