WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
