I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
