so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
