I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
