Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
