Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
