So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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