Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize