I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
