I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize