there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
