I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
