Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's Friday. Sex?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
