Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
4 words: hood of his car
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
