update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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