We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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