i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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