I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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