I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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