I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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