I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
