sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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