I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
