she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
