you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
