Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I love you. Go after that dick
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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