the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
