it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
