So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
