i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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