i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
