what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
