Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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