I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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