yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
PANTIES FOUND
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
