my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
