Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize