So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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