haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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