I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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