Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
