All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
