Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
