i think my tv is drunk
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
How's work?
Spinning.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
