I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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