He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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