Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
