Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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