dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
