Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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