How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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