I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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