If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
