I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
