Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize