My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
P.S. I can't hear my feet
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
