When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
