Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
