After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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