Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Let's get the cat blown out
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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