You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
