You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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