The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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