Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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