I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sorry my hands just texted you
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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