Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
