when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
