its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
