We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
