So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
