i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
