U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
