you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
