I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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