Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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