I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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